When High Performers Start Fantasising About Quitting

The quiet phase of burnout nobody talks about There’s a moment in burnout that rarely gets named.

It isn’t dramatic. It isn’t a breakdown. It isn’t someone storming out or handing in their notice.

It’s the quiet fantasy.

The capable leader who starts browsing property listings in another country at midnight. The senior clinician who imagines working in a bakery. The founder who wonders what it would be like to have a job where no one needs them.

They’re still performing. Still delivering. Still the “reliable one.”

But internally, something has shifted.

They’re not asking, How do I grow? They’re asking, How do I get out?

The Misunderstood Stage of Burnout Most organisations recognise burnout when it becomes visible:

• Sickness absence

• Conflict

• Reduced output

• Resignation
  

But the fantasy phase comes much earlier.

It’s a nervous system response to prolonged demand without sufficient recovery, autonomy, or meaning.

When high performers begin imagining escape, they’re not being dramatic. They’re regulating.

Psychologically, fantasy offers:

• Distance from pressure

• A sense of control

• Relief from responsibility

It becomes a coping strategy long before disengagement shows up on a performance review.

Why It’s Often the Most Capable People

High performers are typically:

• Conscientious

• Internally driven

• Comfortable with responsibility

• Identity-invested in competence

They don’t collapse easily.

They adapt. They compensate. They over-function.

Which is precisely why this stage is missed.

By the time they verbalise dissatisfaction, they’ve often been mentally leaving for months.

“I Don’t Care Anymore” - or Something Else?

Sometimes the language shifts subtly:

• “It’s fine.”

• “It doesn’t matter.”

• “I’ll just do what’s needed.”

This isn’t laziness.

It’s depletion.

Caring deeply requires emotional resource. When that resource is chronically overdrawn, detachment becomes protective.

In high achievers especially, indifference is rarely personality. It’s physiology.

The Organisational Blind Spot Wellbeing initiatives often focus on resilience training, mindfulness sessions, or productivity optimisation.

But if someone is fantasising about leaving, the question isn’t:

How do we make them cope better?

It’s:

• What has become unsustainable?

• Where has autonomy narrowed?

• Where has responsibility outpaced support?

• Where has meaning been eroded?

No amount of surface-level wellbeing activity repairs a system that continually extracts without recalibrating.

What Leaders Should Watch For The fantasy phase often looks like:

• High output, low enthusiasm

• Reduced discretionary effort

• Strategic withdrawal from visibility

• Polite but emotionally flat engagement
  

These individuals are rarely the loudest complainers.

They are the steady ones.

Until they’re gone.

What High Performers Themselves Need to Ask If you’ve found yourself fantasising about quitting, it doesn’t automatically mean you should.

But it does mean something needs attention.

Ask:

• Am I exhausted or misaligned?

• Do I need rest or renegotiation?

• Is this role sustainable in its current form?

• What would staying well actually require?

Escape fantasies are signals.

Not weakness. Not failure. Not ingratitude.

But signals.

Before the Resignation Letter

By the time a resignation letter lands on a desk, the psychological exit often happened months earlier.

The real opportunity for intervention isn’t at departure.

It’s at the first quiet thought of:

There has to be another way to live.

For organisations committed to sustainable performance, the question is not how to push through this phase.

It’s how to redesign work so high performers don’t need to mentally disappear in order to survive it.

Get in touch If you’re noticing high performers quietly disengaging, now is the time to intervene – not with another surface-level wellbeing initiative, but with a deeper look at sustainability, culture, and systemic demand.

Resourced to Thrive partners with individuals and organisations to identify hidden burnout risk, redesign unsustainable pressure points, and build environments where high performance doesn’t come at the cost of people.

If you’re ready to move from reactive wellbeing to strategic workforce sustainability, let’s start a conversation. If you are an individual leading and feeling the strain, also get in touch with us: contact@resourcedtothrive.com